


Jails, Death, and Institutions

by Larry5everbtches



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:26:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8319067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry5everbtches/pseuds/Larry5everbtches





	1. Chapter 1

Just one more hit. Just one more jab. Just one more drink. Harry knew this was all it would take to kill him. Just one more theft. Just one more unprotected rendezvous. Harry knew this was all it would take for him to get in serious trouble. His life was a fragile sheet of paper. One tear and the whole thing was destroyed.

 

Harry Edward Styles was 18, his favorite color was orange, and his least favorite smell was burning foil. It still lingered in his nostrils as he woke up in a foreign room with blue walls and a poster on the wall stating: “One day at a time!” and picturing a child stepping from one hopscotch space to another. Harry looked around the room some more. He spotted a tall, mangy looking boy in a hospital gown peppered with faded flowers handcuffed to a bed, writhing with agony.

“Poor lad” Harry murmured, before jolting up, fully awake. He stared at the boy’s big green eyes. The eyes stared right back. Tiny scratches and scars laid across his face and plum hued bruises littered his pure white skin. Harry knew the boy in the mirror was him, but he didn’t recognize one speck of him.

“Styles?” A lovely, round nurse stepped between Harry and his reflection, holding a pile of damp towels. “These are for your head. Good to see you awake.” She quipped, smiling a taut little smile and exiting as quickly as she had entered. Harry’s arms weren’t handcuffed to the bed, so he could grab a towel. Almost as soon as he placed the towel on his head, the events from the night before rushed to the forefront of his brain. 

~

Like any party, Harry was the life of it. Girls and boys with their hands wrapped around his waist, his hands wrapped around the nearest bottle, needle, or foil. This time, her name was Raquelle, and her drug of choice was heroin. “I’ll go first baby,” Harry cooed, engulfing the back of her little blonde head with one hand. “I’ll let you know how strong it is.” He expertly mixed the dope with water, filled his syringe, and injected himself. The next thing he saw was stars, and then black.

“So how good is that shit, Harry?”

“Harry?”

“HARRY OH MY GOD”

His heart rate slowing down to a stop. Muffled voices. The grunt of the person who had thrown his limp, lifeless body over his back and into the nearest car seat. The thud of his body landing on the grass outside the Lancaster Detox center. And then nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

A short, bony lady tapped at her keyboard, entering data about yours truly, Harry Edward Styles. “So tell me Harry,” she said, looking up from her laptop and peering at him through glasses laid at the tip of her nose, “What kind of drugs do you do?” Harry stroked his chin. “Including the ones I’ve only tried a few times?”

“Yes.”

“Marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, ecstasy, barbiturates, meth, LSD, pills, and my personal favorite, heroin.”

“So heroin is your drug of choice?”

“That and alcohol.”

She started to tap away at her laptop again. This was getting very boring.

“By the way,” Harry said, leaning forward and smiling charmingly. “What IS your name?”

“Barbara,” Barbara said, not taking the time to look up from her computer.

“Barbara, do they treat things other than drug addiction here?”

Barbara looked up, pushing her glasses closer to her face. “This is a dual diagnosis program, so yes, a lot of our groups are meant to help with depression, anxiety, and other derangements in addition to addiction.”

“Well,” Harry started, licking his teeth as he smiled again. “What about other addictions, say, overeating, or shopping, or my personal malady… sex?”

Barbara crossed her legs, uncrossed them and crossed them again before finally answering, “Outside of here, there are plenty of SA groups you could look into.”

“But see Barbara,” Harry purred, “It’s one of those things that plagues me so heavily, I’m afraid it’ll get in the way of me focusing on my addiction. Even now I feel… distracted.” He said breathily.

“Harry,” Barbara cleared her throat. “Please. We have lots of questions to get through.”

“I can’t help myself. When someone beautiful is in my vicinity, I can’t help but start to fantasize. My latest fantasy is hooking up in a treatment center like this. The scandal, the hot rule breaking… it’s all just so thrilling.”

Barbara looked uncomfortable. Harry smirked. She had nothing to worry about. She wasn’t constructed from the right parts. A firm chest, round biceps, a big, long… those were the parts he craved. But he did love to play with the ladies.

“Well, just so you know, fraternizing with other patients is strictly forbidden and may result in termination from the program.” She croaked.

Barbara breezed right through her discomfort on to the next question.

“Are you sexually active?” She rolled her eyes at the irony of the situation.

“What do you think?”

“Just yes or no, Harry.”

“Yes.”

“Do you use protection?”

“Not usually”

“Alright,” she said. “We have STD screenings available if you’re interested.”

“Sign me up.”

After about 30 more minutes that felt like 10 more hours, Barbara was finally done with her questioning. “Alright Harry, you already had your medical exam, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” she smiled brightly. “Looks like we’re done here! I can take you down to the unit now.” She didn’t even try to hide her excitement that she was nearly free of Harry. 

For the first time since entering the doors of Will Springs Rehabilitation, Harry felt himself growing increasingly overwrought. This meant no drugs for 30 days. This meant NO drugs. For THIRTY whole days. Harry hadn’t lasted a few hours without drugs in a very long time. He was always either rolling a joint or buying a fifth between his dope runs. He had no intention of getting clean, he was only here court ordered. But 30 days? How would he stay sane?

~

“Hey group! This is Harry, Harry, this is the group!”

The group consisted of a wiry older lady with blue hair and marks on her arms, a huge black man missing his entire top row of teeth, a perfectly normal looking brunette, and one of the most beautiful boys he’d ever seen. Shit, he was beautiful. Perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face… Harry looked down at what he was wearing. Being shipped directly from the hospital, he still had on their floral gown. Blushing, he looked back up, only to see the beautiful boy looking right back at him. Shit, those eyes…

Alright Harry, how about you go get dressed and join us for music group? Your room is right over there and your things are already unpacked for you. He gestured to a door with the number 205. Harry nodded and wordlessly made his way towards his room, looking back at the boy once more. 

“What to wear, what to wear” Harry thought as he leafed through his closet. He settled on a mostly plain white shirt with New Americana stitched on a little breast pocket and black drop crotch sweatpants. Everyone mulled around in socks, but Harry pulled on some nikes. He didn’t exactly feel ‘at home’. When he went out to join the group, everyone was listening to the sweet, sweet sound of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. “I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day…” Everyone seemed to be really into it except the brunette. Her arms were crossed and she periodically rolled her eyes. Harry took a seat next to the beautiful boy, who had his eyes closed and was swaying to the music. “Take me to the place I love… take me all the way…” he sang softly. Even though his voice was quiet, he could tell the beautiful boy had a beautiful tone. When the song was over, Harry turned to him and asked, “So is this what we do in music therapy? Just listen to music? I could have done that at home. The boy giggled. “We listen to music and then we talk about it. That’s the therapy part.” There was a man in front of the room, presumably the counselor. 

“So what did everyone think of the song?”

The brunette raised her hand. What is this, high school? “I think it was just utterly depressing.” She snitted. 

Someone sniffled. Harry turned to his left only to see the blue-haired woman sobbing quietly into her hands. She looked up and glared at the brunette. “How dare you say that about the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This song is EMOTIONAL. Not that you’d know anything about that.” The brunette crossed her arms and the lady with blue hair turned to the group leader and continued. This song is about someone with a heroin addiction- as implied from the lyric “Under the bridge downtown is where I drew some blood”. Being ‘Under the Bridge’ refers to his lowest low.”

The group rattled on for a while about Anthony Kiedis’s brilliance and lyrical genius. After music therapy, the counselor requested that the group stay seated so that Harry could be introduced to everyone. “How about we go in a circle and say our name, age, drug of choice and… favorite ice cream flavor. Kirsten, wanna start?” The lady with blue hair smiled and turned to Harry.

“I’m Kirsten, I’m 37, DOC is alcohol, and I LOVE black cherry gelato.”

Harry nodded. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too sweetheart!” Kirsten reached for a handshake. While they shook hands, the girl with brown hair started to introduce herself. “Eleanor, 21, cocaine, and I don’t eat ice cream.”’

“She doesn’t really eat anything.” Louis whispered to Harry.

“I’m Sean, 50 years old, crack cocaine and heroin, and my favorite ice cream flavor is Rocky Road.” The black man said in a rumbly voice.

“Nice to meet you Eleanor, Sean.” Harry said. They both nodded.

Louis turned to Harry and locked eyes. “You already know I’m Louis,” Harry smiled. “I’m 22, my drug of choice is heroin, and my favorite ice cream is salted caramel.”

“Very nice to meet you, Louis.” Harry said. “Likewise.”

“Harry, your turn!” the counselor said. 

“Hi. I’m Harry,” He drawled. “I’m 18, heroin and alcohol, and my favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip.”

“Welcome Harry!” Everyone said.

“Oh, by the way,” The counselor said, “I’m Augustine. I’m one of the counselors here and I do music and art therapy. If you ever need to talk, let me know.” Harry nodded. “All right everyone, it’s time for smoke break!” Augustine announced.

~ 

Outside, Harry sat by Louis and Kirsten sat by Sean. Eleanor stayed inside. “So,” Kirsten said, lighting her cigarette. “18, huh?” “Yeah,” Harry sighed. “I never thought I’d be in rehab at 18.” Louis, half done with his cigarette, took an inhale, held it in and said, “It’s a blessing that you’re here beating this disease early,” voice deeper from the smoke in his throat. He exhaled. “The consequences only get worse the longer the disease progresses.” He continued. “Yeah , babe, you don’t want to go through what I went through. Three DUIs.” “Five years in prison.” Sean interjected. “One year in jail and six times in places like this one.” Louis sighed, lighting his second cigarette.

“Yeah… the worst that’s happened was getting grounded freshman year for smoking pot in my room.” Harry said. “Oh… and almost dying.” He muttered. Harry flashed back to that party. How he volunteered to try a batch from a new dealer first. How his “friends” left him to die. How SCARED he was. And the calm he felt when he started to see lights.  
“Harry? Want a cigarette?” Louis said, bringing Harry back to reality. “Nah, I don’t smoke. How many cigs have you smoked so far?” 

“3.” Louis said nonchalantly. “I typically smoke a pack a day, but we only have so many smoke breaks here.” Alright guys, time to come back in.” Louis flicked the cherry off his half cigarette, licked his finger and used it to put out his cigarette. 

“So,” Harry said. “What room are you in?” 

“Room 205.”

“No way! We’re roommates!” Harry could not believe his luck.

“That’s awesome! You want me to show you around?” Louis offered.

“If you don’t mind.”


	3. Chapter 3

Harry was lying in his room alone listening to Mother Mother when a strange-looking man burst into his room. 

“Holy shit!” Harry exclaimed, flinging of his earbuds. “Who are you?”

The man was wearing polka dot suspenders, pinstripe pants, and a bright pink button up.

“You didn’t hear me knocking? He asked. Harry held up his iPod. “Ah. I see.” The man cleared his throat. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Dr. Moon, your counselor.”

This fashion disaster HIS counselor?

“Nice to meet you. I'm Harry.” Here politely although he wanted nothing more than to get back to his music.

“Nice to meet you. We meet every Wednesday, so I'll see you tomorrow after breakfast.” Dr. Moon promptly turned on his heel and exited the room. Weird. Almost as soon as the door closed, it opened again and Louis came into the room. Harry put his iPod away. “Hi Louis!” He chirped.

“Hey Harry. What are you up to?”

“Well, I just met Dr. Moon.”

“Ah yes. Strange man.”

Harry nodded. Louis stood by the door and Harry sat on his bed. They lingered in silence for a moment.

“So Harry,” Louis said, making his way over to his bed. “Tell me about yourself.” 

Harry ran his fingers through his hair.”Well… I like music… I like lomgboarding… I obviously like to party… I like bananas…” 

Louis chuckled. “Bananas?”

“Yes, bananas.” Harry huffed. “They're my favorite hobby.” 

Louis threw his head back and laughed. “Okay. So what kind of music do you listen to?”

Harry grabbed his iPod. “Wanna look?”

Louis took the iPod and scrolled for a couple seconds before handing it back to Harry. “Haven't heard of more than half these bands.” Harry smiled. “I take it you don't listen to a lot of indie?” Louis shook his head. “Mostly just stuff on the radio.”

Harry nodded.”So what do you like?” 

“Well... smoking, working out, biking, I also like to longboard, a lot of active stuff.”

“No wonder you're so built.” Harry said and immediately regretted.

“Thanks.” Louis smiled and God, was it a beautiful smile.

-

“So Harry, tell me a bit about yourself.”

Harry sat in Dr. Moon’s office, or rather, he lay down. He had to have the full therapist's office experience.

“I do a lot of drugs. But I'm not convinced an addict.”

Dr. Moon nodded. “Then why are you here?”

“Court ordered.”

Dr Moon nodded again. “So tell me about the series of events that led to admission.”

“What, you didn't already read it in that little chart of yours?” Harry smirked, nodding at the binder labeled ‘Harry Styles’ sitting on Dr. Moon's lap.

“I would like to hear it in your own words.” Dr Moon pressed. “I got a bad batch of dope at a party, blacked out, and woke up handcuffed to a bed.” Harry summarized. “To my understanding, you didn't just black out, you overdosed.” Harry shrugged. “Same difference.” 

Dr. Moon placed his hands on his knees.”You could have died that night. Doesn't that worry you?”

Harry shrugged again. 

“I sense an apathy towards your life. Where does that come from?” 

Harry frowned. “Uh...I don't know, we all die eventually so why not have some fun in the meantime?” 

“And these drugs. They're fun?”

Harry rolled his eyes. Drugs weren't as fun as when he first started, and it took him more than before to get him sufficiently fucked up, but it was still much better than being sober.

“Of course,” he answered. “Haven't you ever done drugs?” 

Dr. Moon adjusted his glasses nervously. “Well no, I was more of a drinker myself.”

“Oh. Was?”

“Yes I stopped drinking about 5 years ago. But enough about me, this session is about you. Are you avoiding talking about yourself?”

“I'm not ‘avoiding’ shit. I just have nothing to talk about.” 

“How about you tell me about your family life?” 

“Parents are together. Middle class. No abuse.” Harry didn't have anything wrong with him. His life was perfect. Fun, social, loving parents… He didn't see the point of any sort of thing. Especially with this weirdo.


	4. Chapter 4

“If there are 5 people and 5 rooms, why do we have roommates?” Eleanor whined.

“We’re having a huge turnover. 5 people left this week, and 5 people will be coming in.” Augustine explained.

Eleanor pouted. I don't know how long I can stand Kristen's snoring.”

“Well honey,” Kirsten retorted. “I could do without your toxic toots myself.” 

“I DON'T fart.”

“Keep telling yourself that sweetheart.”

“Alright people!” Augustine announced. “It's time relapse prevention in room 2 with Dr. W!” 

“How's Dr. W?” Harry asked Louis. “Dr. W is the shit! She's so real with us.”

In room 2, an older woman who likes like a cheery grandmother with fresh baked cookies , rather than an addiction specialist, was writing on a dry erase board: ‘without drugs, are we crazier, out more sane?’. Harry didn't know about anyone else, but since he's been in rehab, he'd felt crazier and crazier every day. As everyone filed in, Harry sat down first to see if Louis would choose to sit by him or elsewhere. When Louis did sit next to him, Harry's heart skipped a beat or two. Or three.

“Okay everyone, settle down!” Dr. W ordered, although no one was talking. “Today or topic is-”. She was interrupted by Augustine and an attractive young lad with brown hair, impressive muscles, and a plain white tee. “Sorry to burst in Dr. W,” (who looked highly annoyed) “I just wanted to introduce the newest member the group, Liam!”

“Welcome Liam!” Everyone said.

Liam smiled a stunning smile. “Pretty good looking guy, huh.” Louis whispered. Harry started to sweat. Did this mean Louis liked guys or is he simply stating the fact that this Liam guy was pretty hot? If he does like guys, are guys like Liam his type? Because he was nothing like Liam…

“Harry? Harry!” Harry startled. Dr. W was looming over him. “I asked you a question. Now I expect an answer.”

Harry started silent. He was drawing a blank until he remembered the question he'd seen on the board. “Crazier.” He answered with confidence.

Dr. W raised her eyebrows with interest. “So half of us believe sobriety will make us sane, and the other half believe sobriety will make us crazier.” Everyone nodded. “Eleanor, what makes you believe that sobriety makes addicts and alcoholics crazy?”

Eleanor bounced her leg up and down and stared at the floor. “Well, I felt more like myself when I was intoxicated. Like the happy little girl I used to be.” She sighed. “Now I'm just me.” 

“And what exactly is ‘just me’?”

‘I'm a nervous wreck, I'm depressed, I don't want to do anything but sleep, I hate myself, i-” 

“And that's how you feel when you're not using? Is that why you used every day?” 

Eleanor was silent.

“Alright. Now Louis. Why do you think you feel more sane since you've been sober?” Dr. W asked. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting different results. When I was using, I was trying to find nirvana- that perfect stillness that would make everything make sense. But no matter how close I came, I always came crashing right back down. That's how I know drugs aren't the solution. That the only way I can be sane is through sobriety.”

Dr. W smiled. “Good to hear Louis.” Harry looked Louis with his green eyes wide open. Louis noticed. “What?” Harry shook his head. “You just worded that so well. I was trying to find nirvana too.”

“I think we all were.”

-  
After group, Harry and Louis decided to introduce himself to Liam. He was already busy getting some of Kirsten's southern hospitality, so they knew they should their turn. She was a perfect welcomer. “See ya later sweetheart!” She drawled as she walked away from Liam.

“Hey Liam! I'm Louis!” Louis said, shaking Liam's hand. “I'm Harry.” Harry waved. “Do you smoke, Liam? There’s a smoke break in a couple minutes.” Louis asked. Liam shook his head. “Nah.. more of a health nut. Ironically.” “I don’t smoke either!” Harry smiled. “High five!” Liam grinned and reciprocated the high five. “I still go outside during smoke breaks, though.” Harry explained. “For the fresh hair and conversation.” Liam chuckled. “All right. I’ll come out with you guys.”

“SMOKE BREAK!” Louis yelled as soon as the clock hit 6.”

Outside, Harry and Liam interrogated Liam. “What are you here for?” Harry asked. “Drugs,” Liam laughed. “Lots and lots of drugs.”

“What’s your drug of choice?” Louis asked.

Liam paused. “Marijuana.” 

They were all silent.

“Have you tried coke?”

Liam nodded.

“Heroin?”

Liam nodded.

“Meth?”

Liam nodded. “And I still love my Mary Jane the most.”

Harry tried to comprehend this idea of marijuana being a problem… and getting you more fucked up than the hard stuff. 

“I love acid too, but I go easy with that shit.” Liam said. “Actually man, can I get a drag of that?” Liam pointed at Louis’s cigarette. “Sure you don’t want a whole one?” Louis asked, handing Liam the cigarette. Liam paused. “Okay, I guess.”

“What happened to Team No Smoking? What happened to Mr. Health Nut?” Harry cried. “I smoke a cig every so often, just to calm down.” Liam said. “Not a whole pack like this loser?” Harry said, reaching across Liam to smack Louis’s hand.

“I’m a loser, baby,so why don’t you kill me?” Louis sang in a beautiful, clear soprano.

“Yesssss, Beck.” Liam nodded in approval.

Louis smiled up at Liam. “What else do you listen to?”

“Oh God, a smorgasbord of things like… let me see.” Liam paused. “The Offspring, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Weezer, 30 Seconds to Mars, White Flag…”

“Who’s White Flag?” Louis asked.

“White Flag’s an American punk rock band. They’re from out in California.” Liam explained. My favorite song by them is ‘Nothing To Give’. ‘You talked me to sleep last night… I haven’t felt that sad in years…” 

As Liam continued to sing in his, of course, PERFECT voice, Harry decided to wallow in self-pity. If Liam just happened to be gay, Harry had some serious competition. 

-

“So what do you think about Liam?” Louis asked Harry once they got to the room. 

“He’s funny. Cool. Great taste in music.” Harry paused. “And very cute.” 

Louis grinned. “Am I cute?”

“Very.”

Louis chuckled. “Thanks, babe.”

Feeling suddenly very embarrassed, Harry grabbed his iPod and covered himself with his blanket.


	5. Chapter 5

“Today, we are going to talk about thought distortions.” Dr. W announced. “Particularly minimization, rationalization, and terminal uniqueness.” Harry wrote in his notebook minimization, rationalization, terminal uniqueness. 

“These distortions are often signs of an upcoming relapse. If you can catch yourself in these thought patterns, you can keep yourself from doing something you’ll regret. Minimization is making something smaller than it is. Can someone give me an example of a minimized thought?” 

Kirsten raised her hand. “Umm… just one drink is no big deal?”

Dr. W. nodded. “Very good. When we minimize, we try to ignore consequences and trick ourselves into thinking we don’t need help.”

Harry knew he was guilty of minimizing, especially when he got in trouble. Oh, he got arrested? No big deal, it was actually kind of cool. Deeper inside, he was always scared. Really scared. 

“Next is rationalization. Finding reasons to justify your potential actions. Can someone give me an example?

Liam raised his hand. “I have been wronged today. I deserve to smoke.” 

Dr. W smiled. “Thank you Liam. It’s important to remind ourselves of consequences, always. Whether we have a bad day or want to celebrate something or let’s face it, if ANYTHING happens, we addicts are pros at finding a reason to use. But we can’t. All that follows is jails, institutions and death.” Dr. W cleared her throat. “Now for terminal uniqueness. This is thinking you are any different from other addicts and often the thought, ‘I am not like them. I must not have a problem’ follows. It’s terminal because this kind of thinking is deadly. We must remember we are no different from other addicts at the core. Deep down, we all have one very vital thing in common- Our lives have become unmanageable.”

Harry raised his hand. “So if I were to say that since I haven’t been to jail, or lost any relationships or something, so I must not be too bad, would that be an example of terminal uniqueness?” 

Dr. W nodded. “Yes. Good. One way to combat this kind of thinking is adding ‘yet’. I haven’t gone to jail… yet. I haven’t blacked out… yet. I’m not drinking as much as that guy… yet. Anything could happen to you if you keep going down the wrong path.” Dr. W handed out papers to everyone. “Here’s more information about thought distortions. There are so many more and I bet everyone can relate to at least a few.”

Harry looked through the list. Maximization… All-or-nothing… Fortune-telling… Personalization… So many thought distortions related to him. Harry was starting to wonder when his brain got so fucked up.

-

The next morning, Harry woke up with a headache, sore muscles, and grouchiness. Worst of all, he woke up to Ilena’s voice. 

“Alright gang, time for a walk!” Ilena chirped in her overly peppy voice.

Ilena was a counselor, and everything about Ilena reminded Harry of a bird. Her voice was high as a bird’s, she was thin as a bird, and she was as annoying as a bird. If he could, Harry would pluck her feathers, stuff her with breadcrumbs, and serve her to cannibals for Thanksgiving dinner. 

As the group filed out, Harry put in his earbuds.

“Nuh-uh-uh-uh! No iPods on the walk!” Ilena nagged. 

Harry gave her a withering look. “Why the hell not?”

Ilena flinched at Harry’s obscenity. “It’s a NATURE walk. You can listen to the birds and the breeze!”

“I hate birds.”

Ilena was starting to look increasing frustrated. “Look,” She said without a hint of pep. “Either you leave the iPod here, or you stay back and work on assignments with your therapist. “

Harry balked. “My, my Ilena. So that’s what you sound like when you’re not impersonating an adderall-ridden cheerleader.”

Ilena’s mouth dropped so wide Harry was afraid she was about to regurgitate a worm. 

“Harry!” She squawked. “That was so completely inappropriate and out of line! “Ilena’s face was beet-red, which just made Harry smirk harder, which in turn, made Ilena look angrier. “Go to your therapist’s office. NOW.”

Harry flipped the bird the bird and made his way to Dr. Moon’s as the rest of the group filed out of the unit in silence. 

“So Harry,” Dr. Moon started as Harry flopped down onto his couch. “What brings you to my office?” Harry glared. “I know Ilena came in here and told you. Why are you even asking me?” Dr. Moon pressed his fingers together. “I know what Ilena said. But I wanted to hear it from your point of view. Harry huffed. “Ilena was being an asshole.” Dr. Moon stared at Harry, waiting for him to go on. “She was forcing us to go on a stupid walk. I at least wanted to listen to music. She was a bitch, I told her off.” Harry recapped. “Why didn’t you want to go on the walk?” Dr. Moon inquired.

“I just didn’t feel like it.”

“But everyone else went. And I’m sure some of them didn’t want to go either.”

“Must I be like everyone else?” 

Dr. Moon leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees like he did. “Harry, do you have a problem with authority?”

Harry shrugged. “‘Authority figures’” He air quoted. “Are just other humans who think they’re better than everyone else. Aren’t we all supposed to be equal?”

“‘Authority figures’ are there to enforce rules and structure, preventing chaos and anarchy.”

“I don’t think the streets with fill with people sporting pitchforks and torches because I put my earbuds in.”

“Maybe not, but…” Dr. Moon trailed off.

“See? Stupid rule, stupid punishment. I hate rules for no reason.” 

Dr. Moon cleared his throat nervously. “Just think about what I said, about the authority problem.”

When the group came back, Harry strode over to Louis, ready to bitch about Ilena and Dr. Moon. Before he could say anything, Louis put his hands on his hips and gave Harry a stern look. “What?” Harry laughed and Louis didn’t. “What was all the drama with Ilena about?”

Harry threw his hands in the air. “Are you about to tell me I have an authority problem too?”

“Well…”

“Fuck Louis. She started it.”

“You know Harry,” Louis started, taking his hands off of his hips. “They say that rehab is a microcosm of the real world. The way you treat the authority figures here- the counselors, reflects the way you will treat the authority figures outside of here, say, police officers, teachers, and of course, your parents.”

“I treat my parents with the utmost respect!”

Louis gave Harry a biting look. “You just told me yesterday that you break curfew every night.”

Harry shrugged. “I still say please, thank you, and excuse me. And I do my chores… most of the time.”

“Well, all I’m saying is you could foster a better relationship with your parents if you practice a little respect with the counselors.”

Harry crossed his arms, cocked his hip, and pouted. “Ilena’s a bitch though.”

“They’re only here for your benefit. They don’t make a lot in their field, you know.” 

Harry threw his arms in the air. “Fine! I’ll apologize to Ilena, is that what you want?”

Louis smiled and put his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “I only want what’s best for you bud. Besides,” Louis smirked. “Nice boys are sexy.”


	6. Chapter 6

Harry was so confused. When talking to him, Louis could use ‘babe’ and ‘buddy’ in the same sentence. He was so frustrated. Boys (and girls) never had him like this. He could play them like a toy and read them like a book, but Louis was like a mystery/fantasy fusion and Harry did not like it one bit. 

“Hey babe!” 

Speak of the devil.

Harry refused to turn around. What if he wasn’t talking to him? Maybe he was one of those guys who called everyone ‘babe’.

“Harry? Hello?” Louis tapped on his shoulder and Harry turned only his head around. “What’s up, man? You seem upset.” Louis said with genuine concern.

Harry had to make something up. As if he could tell As if he could tell Louis just how baffling he was. “Ilena’s just getting on my nerves is all.”

Louis cocked his head to the side and batted his baby blues, hands on his hips. “Now Harry. Remember what I told you…”

“I know, I know, she’s just doing her job… doesn’t make her any less annoying.” Harry shrugged his shoulders. “I’m good though. I can easily just avoid her.”

Louis smiled. “That’s a great idea! Let’s avoid her in our room!” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and put a tingle in his spine. “Okay.”

When they got to the room, Louis shut the door and smirked at Harry. For a second, Harry was so sure he was going to kiss him, but instead he brushed past him and grabbed Harry’s speakers. “How about some Katy Perry?” Not needing Harry’s permission or opinion, he turned on ‘Teenage Dream’. Then, he proceeded to shake his (gorgeous) hips to the beat. “Dance with me Harry!” Now Louis was attempting to twerk and honestly, not doing too bad of a job.

Harry shook his head. “No. Absolutely not.”

Louis pouted. “If you danced with me, it would make me very happy.”

Harry rolled his eyes and tried to keep from smiling. “I only jump. And only at concerts.”

Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and started jumping up and down and eventually, he had Harry jumping with him, with his hands in the air.

“You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream”

-

The group made their way to the big group room for yet another group with Dr. W. Harry was starting to look forward to group, even taking more detailed notes like he did when he actually cared about school.

“Welcome everyone!” Dr. W said, particularly sprightly. “Someone got laid.” Louis whispered to Harry. Harry cringed at the idea. “At least someone is getting it.” He murmured bitterly. 

“I know, right? It’s been a while for me.”

Harry smirked, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “What?” Louis asked.

“I didn’t say a word.”

“Wish you would. That face is making me nervous.”

“Before Harry could respond, Dr. W cleared her throat loudly.”Boys, you have something to share with the group?” Dr. W didn’t look annoyed at all. She was smiling. She must have gotten seriously plowed. “Sorry Dr. W.” Louis and Harry said in unison. “As I was saying, we are going to talk about codependency. Can anyone tell me what codependency is?” Everyone was silent. “Codependency is an unhealthy reliance on someone or something for things you can provide for yourself.” She continued. “Who here thinks they have a codependency problem?” No one raised their hand except for Kirsten. “What makes you think that, Kirsten?” “Well,” Kirsten started. “I depend on my husband to provide me with self-esteem. If I’m all cleaned up and he calls me beautiful, I believe it for a second. But when I’m getting off a bender and I haven’t showered in three days and he says I look like a mess-” Kirsten held her thumb down. “There goes my self-esteem. 

Kirsten’s words gave Harry a realization. He raised his hand. “Yes, Harry?” Dr. W said excitedly. “I think I may have been codependent on my friends. Like, my self-worth depended on how they saw me. That’s how I got here. I needed my friends to like me so I did whatever drugs they put in front of me.” Harry stared at the floor. “For a while there, I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t want to be alone again.” Louis put his hand over Harry’s and gave it a little squeeze. Harry turned his head to the side and couldn’t help but stare at Louis’s encouraging little smile.


	7. Chapter 7

After group, Harry lay in bed listening to Arctic Monkeys. He rolled on his side and put his hands between his thighs, so you can guess what song he was listening to.

“Hey Harry,” Louis walked into the room and sat on Harry’s bed. Harry sat up. “Yeah?”

“I was thinking… about what we were talking about earlier…”

Harry looked down at Louis’s crotch and saw that he was pitching a tent big enough to shelter a family of five. He took this as his cue. He ripped his earbuds out and pressed their lips together. Harry could feel Louis’s heart pounding in sync with his. Finally, FINALLY. Louis rolled on his back, bringing Harry on top of him. More kissing ensued. Harry rolled on his side and slowly brough Louis on top of him. They went back and forth, rolling around on Harry’s twin size bed. Louis got off Harry and lay next to him. “I’m a bottom.” He said firmly. “Oh really? Me too! We have so much in common.” Harry said, batting his eyelashes. “This is stupid. I’M bottoming.” Louis demanded. Harry looked at him with puppy dog eyes, lifted up Louis’s shirt and started kissing his chest.

“Please daddy?”

It was a hit or miss with daddy kink, but the darkness in Louis’s eyes suggested Harry had a hit. Harry moved his kisses to Louis’s sides and abs, before sliding his hand inside Louis’s pajama pants. 

“Shit, Harry.”

Louis moaned as Harry used his big hands to perform some serious magic. He kissed the top of Louis’s cock and said,

“Make me your bitch, daddy.” 

With that, Louis reached down to grab Harry’s chin and pulled him up for a rough kiss. Louis’s hand kept Harry’s head in place as he rolled his tongue along his, exploring every corner of his mouth. “Lie down on your stomach.” Louis growled. Harry obliged with a wink and wiggled his ass in tantalizing circles. Louis lined up his hips behind Harry’s. When “daddy” put himself inside him and started rocking back and forth, Harry swore he saw stars. Harry had never been with someone so big. He bit his sleeve to refrain from screaming. He touched his own penis. “Daddy, you’re making me so wet.” “I can’t breathe” Louis said, panting. Harry took a moment to appreciate the pain-pleasure concoction taking over his entire body before asking, “Wanna switch?” Louis exited Harry and practically threw himself on his back. “I don’t know how good I’ll be at this…” Harry said nervously. “And you were amazing.” “You’ll do fine,” Louis said, wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist. “Just do what you like done to you.”

Harry swallowed, took a deep breath, and entered Louis. Holy Shit. The feeling of Louis’s hole tightly engulfing his cock was like no other experience he’d ever had. All five of his senses heightened. He could hear Louis’s and his breathing. He could hear Louis’s and his breathing. The stars were back, dancing behind his eyelids. He could feel Louis’s legs pressing him further inside. He could smell the rich, alluring scent of sex. He could still taste Louis’s smoky mouth on his.

“Uh, Harry?”

Louis’s voice broke Harry’s trance. “Are you going to uh… move?”

Harry had buried himself inside Louis and then completely spaced out. “Sorry,” Harry said, starting to thrust himself in and out of Louis. “You feel sooo good.” Louis whimpered when Harry slammed himself into him. Harry fucked him hard, because he liked to be fucked hard. “Harry.” Louis said breathily. Harry grabbed Louis’s cock, noticing he was close, and stroked it until Louis had his sweet release. He then grabbed his own cock and came all over Louis’s chest. “Jesus Christ, Louis.” Harry sighed. “I could get used to topping.”

“I don’t have the cardiovascular capacity to top.”

“All those damn cigarettes.”

Louis stuck his tongue out at Harry and Harry kissed him one more time before Louis cleaned up and they both went to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Liam was absent during lunch due to a therapy session, leaving Harry and Louis to sit alone. Harry finished everything and was still hungry.

“Hey Louis, are you going to eat that?” Harry said, pointing to Louis’s banana. Like the dick he is, Louis licked the tip of his banana, sucked half of it into his mouth, and took a tiny bite before saying, “yes.”

Harry swallowed. “Okay.” He looked around the room, to see anything but Louis eat his banana. He spotted Eleanor, sitting all alone. “Hey Louis? I’m going to sit by Eleanor. She looks lonely.”

“I was only joking about the banana thing!”

“So you’re NOT going to suck my dick later?”

Louis chuckled. “Just go.”

Harry picked up his tray and walked over to where Eleanor was sitting. “Hey. Can I sit here?” Eleanor nodded. “Why aren’t you eating?” Harry asked. 

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well... can I have your banana?”

Eleanor picked up the banana slowly and handed it to Harry slowly. Everything this girl did was slow.

“So… how’s it going?” Harry asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for an uncomfortably long period of time before Harry said, “Are you sure you don’t want anything? Because I can grab something for you-”

“I like someone here.”

“Oh. A counselor or a patient or-”

“A patient.”

“Oh. Do you want to tell me who?”

Eleanor sat quietly, bouncing his leg up and down.

“You don’t have to-”

“Louis.”

“OH.” harry blinked. “Uh.. me too!”

Eleanor glared at him. “So what, you’re gay?”

Harry glared right back. “The gayest.”

Eleanor pointed her nose in the air. “Well I’m pretty sure Louis’s not gay.”

Well I’m pretty sure your gaydar’s broken sweetheart.

Harry stood up. “I’m going to sit by Louis again. Nice talking to you!” 

Eleanor grabbed his arm. “Don’t. Tell. Louis.” 

“Of course not, honey!” Harry chirped before making his way towards Louis. Louis raised his eyebrows. “How did it go?” He asked, mouth half full of taco. 

“She likes you.”

“She likes me? She tell you that?”

“Yeah, dude.”

“Well… what did you say?”  
“That I liked you too.”

Louis smiled. “What did she say after that?

“That you probably weren’t gay.”

Louis giggled, covering his mouth to keep food from spilling out. “Did you tell her I was?”

“No. That’s not my place… but I did tell her I wouldn’t tell you.” Harry glanced at Eleanor, who had her head on the table, leg still shaking. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.”

“She does look upset…”

“Maybe you should talk to her later.

“Maybe I should.”

-

When the group got back to the unit, it was free time. Kirsten started playing the guitar, Sean and Liam watched a movie, and Eleanor started painting in her little corner of the room. Harry and Louis stood in the middle of the room, arguing quietly. “Talk to her now!” Harry insisted.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Uh… that you’re as straight as a rubber band?”

“Harry!” Louis hissed. “This is serious!”

“Well, let her down easy.”

Louis rolled his eyes and made his way over to where Eleanor was painting. “Heeeey Eleanor…” 

She blushed. “Hi Louis.”

Louis stood over her, tapping his feet nervously. “So… your painting looks nice!” 

Eleanor’s face was vermillion by this point. “T-t-thank you.” She stuttered. “It’s my dog.”

“What’s his name?”

“Kevin.”

“Oh. Lovely name.”

“Thanks.”

Louis continued to stand over Eleanor and they were both silent for an awkward amount of time. “Uh, hey!” Louis said, sitting down next to Eleanor. “Let’s play a game!” Eleanor looked up from her painting, intrigued. “What kind of game?”

“How about 20 questions? You know 20 questions?”

Eleanor nodded.

“Awesome! Okay, so I’ll go first. What’s your favorite color?”

“Red. What’s yours?”

“Blue. Who’s your favorite artist/band?”

“Ariana Grande. You?”

“The Fray. So… are you straight?”

Eleanor paused and gave him a side glance. “Yes… are you?”

“No.”

Eleanor grabbed her paints, got up, and said, “this game is over.” After she stormed off, Harry ran over to sit by Louis. “So… what happened?”

Louis turned to Harry with weary eyes and sighed. “Please tell me it’s almost the next cigarette break.”


End file.
